To Date Or Not To Date?
This is the question that people should be asking themselves before they ask "who should I date?" etc. People are in a real rush these days to get themselves a boy/girlfriend when they are not even prepared for such a commitment. Which is probably why we see many divorces and broken hearts.
The purpose of dating is not to have fun though that is definitely an aspect of it. The purpose of dating is to find your future spouse. Therefore you should only be dating when you are ready for such a high level of comittment and are prepared to live such a life (a.k.a. ready to get married).
We see people as young as ten trying to enter the "dating" scene. Is someone ready to date at ten? No. In the United States a ten year old cannot provide for itself let alone for a family. How about 16? Getting closer but still no. While a 16 year old can feasibly provide for itself, that is not very likely for the vast majority and the 16 year old is still to young to be able to get married in the first place. Well... I guess that is not completely true. Apparently the average minimum age you can be to get married in the United States is between 16-18 without parental consent (see your state law for more specific details if you are interested). However is a person ready to to support a family at 16 or 17? Most likely not.
In the end it all comes down to whether you are ready for such a comittment. There is not a particular age (though I would strongly advise waiting longer than to rush into it) for which you can start dating.
As for wanting a relationship with a member of the opposite gender: go ahead! But let that relationship be that of friendship instead of a romantice one. As friends you could find out a lot about them and then have time to consider whether that person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. If that person is and you are ready, you can then procede to engage in a more indepth relationship (a.k.a. date them). You wouldn't have lost anything by waiting and if that person is not someone you would spend the rest of your life with, you can just keep your relationship right where it is: as friends.
Let me know what you think about this. I'm still gathering things together but writing them down helps me.
The purpose of dating is not to have fun though that is definitely an aspect of it. The purpose of dating is to find your future spouse. Therefore you should only be dating when you are ready for such a high level of comittment and are prepared to live such a life (a.k.a. ready to get married).
We see people as young as ten trying to enter the "dating" scene. Is someone ready to date at ten? No. In the United States a ten year old cannot provide for itself let alone for a family. How about 16? Getting closer but still no. While a 16 year old can feasibly provide for itself, that is not very likely for the vast majority and the 16 year old is still to young to be able to get married in the first place. Well... I guess that is not completely true. Apparently the average minimum age you can be to get married in the United States is between 16-18 without parental consent (see your state law for more specific details if you are interested). However is a person ready to to support a family at 16 or 17? Most likely not.
In the end it all comes down to whether you are ready for such a comittment. There is not a particular age (though I would strongly advise waiting longer than to rush into it) for which you can start dating.
As for wanting a relationship with a member of the opposite gender: go ahead! But let that relationship be that of friendship instead of a romantice one. As friends you could find out a lot about them and then have time to consider whether that person is someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. If that person is and you are ready, you can then procede to engage in a more indepth relationship (a.k.a. date them). You wouldn't have lost anything by waiting and if that person is not someone you would spend the rest of your life with, you can just keep your relationship right where it is: as friends.
Let me know what you think about this. I'm still gathering things together but writing them down helps me.
posted by TBQelite at 11:10
3 Comments:
yea... I know some people who have "boyfriends" that are my age. It's like in school you have to have a boyfriend to be popular. It's so wierd I mean what's the purpose of dating in Jr. High anyway?
I don't know what the purpose of dating in Jr. High is...there really is no purpose. I mean i look back on Jr. high and think waht was i thinkin definalty to young for a boyfriend.
And its really sad my little cuz (shes in 5th grade i think) and she has a new b/f ever week...
The culture has twisted things to make the ultimate purpose of things to be momentary "fun" or enjoyment instead of a focus on a longterm goal. An emphasis on gaining and listening to wisdom has been replaced by an emphasis on youth and self-centerdness. So now our culture is reaping the dire consequences with all of the divorce and infidelity in marriages. Living together has become common before marriage as well as dating long before one is really looking or ready to commit to a life partner. We see the effects sadly often in Christian marriages as well as secualar. This is heart-breaking for families but it should not surprise us because of the way people date and break up date and break up again so often as they pick and choose who "pleases them".
Self-centered dating esp. when young and not seeking to glorify God in acting wisely and thinking of others leads to heartbreak and evil.
Just as you said young people and adults should always start with a solid friendship with those of the opposite gender. A friendship that has the other's well-being in mind...that would preclude romance...until ready for marriage. Thus conventional dating as used by mainstream culture as you said has serious flaws.
Good post! This topic is something that should be discussed. As it is of great importance to the next generation's wellfare.
Post a Comment
<< Home